Iss dil ka kya karoon, main kya karoon ...

... as I walk away from the boy, who is walking to the park, attempting to push his own stroller with one hand and holding didi's hand with the other, and who then turns around looking for me. Not finding me, I sense, upsets him mildly but the thought of running around in the play area, getting onto to the merry-go-round, trying to climb the slide from the wrong side, walking between the jungle gym bars, chasing the dog, takes over, and I hope he forgets for while that I've gone off again. Just like I go off every morning when I get dressed, and when he clings to me knowing that I will disappear for a few hours before I get in for lunch.
... as I walk away from the boy, who is walking to the park, and turn around again and again and again to look at him fading into the distance before I take the bend in the path and he takes his bend to the park.
And I think to myself "Iss dil ka kya karoon, main kya karoon" because I don't know if the dil knows what it wants. Or maybe it just wants it all.