"Incorporated" or what ...
... I'm realizing that I've started thinking so corporate-like. Boxed in. Risk averse. Politics aware. Reputation centric. Well, almost. Much more than before for sure.
Is it a function of the 8 years of work ex, of realizing that in the initial days, actions get read and translated into perceptions at lightning quick speed, of having observed the husband who will always ensure that he sets and builds the correct perceptions initially and reap benefits later, of just having worked in a structured environment where differentiation is not necessarily the key for too long.
Earlier, I would have (and I actually have) said Buzz off. Who cares what someone thinks? How does it matter anyway. And then worn floaters to office even when the boss said he didn't like it. (Well, I didn't think too much of the boss and so it didn't matter what he thought of me.) Walked into office at 10 and left at 5:30 (even though office timing was 9:30 to 6:00) because I had no work to fill even a quarter of the time that I was in office. Said that the superboss tested my patience (with printing every presentation and storing a copy for further reference and asking for changes in the shade of yellow used on the cover slide) to my boss openly in a community bitching session. Argued my case vociferously if I felt that I was right.
I don't know if it is the age or the experience. I've seen my attitude land me in trouble at times. But it never mattered. Not like I care too much even now, come to think of it. But I've started evaluating my actions and thinking them through more. Is that good or bad? I'm not sure. Am sure that it's not that good. I liked my carefree, risk-taking, don't-give-a-damn attitude to life and work. I'll put in my best and the rest will take care of itself. People will see my worth through my work and forget stuff like the floaters and the timings and the open expression of opinion. But maybe it's not all bad. It also means increased patience, being just a little more particular about what I wear, what I say, what time I walk in. The boss is behaving weird? It's ok, it's early days. Let me give him some time. Let the work do the talking. Let me not say anything negative about the organization even though I can see that there is a lot of shit. But then there is shit in any organization. I'll still walk out on time though. And wear skirts to an office where I've never seen a girl in a skirt. And go home for lunch to see the little chap.
Maybe it has a little to do with knowing that people form opinions easily and it is in my interest to help them form correct ones. And knowing that a young mom can easily be classified as a work-shirker, only baby-on-mind, taking-the-company-for-a-ride. And realizing that the baby is on my mind frequently. But yes, this time I'm being risk averse. Boxed in. Politics aware. And reputation centric for now.
Is it a function of the 8 years of work ex, of realizing that in the initial days, actions get read and translated into perceptions at lightning quick speed, of having observed the husband who will always ensure that he sets and builds the correct perceptions initially and reap benefits later, of just having worked in a structured environment where differentiation is not necessarily the key for too long.
Earlier, I would have (and I actually have) said Buzz off. Who cares what someone thinks? How does it matter anyway. And then worn floaters to office even when the boss said he didn't like it. (Well, I didn't think too much of the boss and so it didn't matter what he thought of me.) Walked into office at 10 and left at 5:30 (even though office timing was 9:30 to 6:00) because I had no work to fill even a quarter of the time that I was in office. Said that the superboss tested my patience (with printing every presentation and storing a copy for further reference and asking for changes in the shade of yellow used on the cover slide) to my boss openly in a community bitching session. Argued my case vociferously if I felt that I was right.
I don't know if it is the age or the experience. I've seen my attitude land me in trouble at times. But it never mattered. Not like I care too much even now, come to think of it. But I've started evaluating my actions and thinking them through more. Is that good or bad? I'm not sure. Am sure that it's not that good. I liked my carefree, risk-taking, don't-give-a-damn attitude to life and work. I'll put in my best and the rest will take care of itself. People will see my worth through my work and forget stuff like the floaters and the timings and the open expression of opinion. But maybe it's not all bad. It also means increased patience, being just a little more particular about what I wear, what I say, what time I walk in. The boss is behaving weird? It's ok, it's early days. Let me give him some time. Let the work do the talking. Let me not say anything negative about the organization even though I can see that there is a lot of shit. But then there is shit in any organization. I'll still walk out on time though. And wear skirts to an office where I've never seen a girl in a skirt. And go home for lunch to see the little chap.
Maybe it has a little to do with knowing that people form opinions easily and it is in my interest to help them form correct ones. And knowing that a young mom can easily be classified as a work-shirker, only baby-on-mind, taking-the-company-for-a-ride. And realizing that the baby is on my mind frequently. But yes, this time I'm being risk averse. Boxed in. Politics aware. And reputation centric for now.
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