Strange or what??

 

Life is ... strange. Or I am strange. 

When I have loads of work piled up and deadlines to be met, I wish for free time. Time to myself. Wish I wasn't working and I could do what I want with all the time at my disposal. There seem like there are thousands of things to do, hobbies to follow, passions to indulge in. 

And then suddenly it happens. There is no work. I am at home. For the longest time since I started working. There is no schedule. No boss. No timelines. No deadlines.  Agreed it's not a usual time off from work. There is Aahaan and there is no freedom (almost!) for me to go where I like. But all the freedom to do as I like at home. And ... I wish I was working!! 

Sometimes I think I suffer from a syndrome. That says, ' Always look for what you don't have.' 

Here I am, at home. Having the pleasure of seeing him grow up. Being able to hold him close when I want. Smiling when I see him swimming across the floor, eyes set on something, intention written clear on his face, 100% ED (entrepreneurial drive) and 150% COP (Clarity of Purpose - c'mon guys!). Laughing as I ensure he does not pull the TV wires or unplug the modem as he drools all over it. Or swimming across the floor to reach him at the other end of the room - so that it makes 2 of us swimming. And I'm loving it. Can't imagine going to work for 10 hours a day and not knowing what he's up to. Or not being able to hold him. Or kiss him when I want to. Probably won't happen. I'm praying it doesn't. Then why am I obsessed with work. 

Teaching myself to enjoy the moment, the time in which I am right now, making the most of this time at home - is what I need to do NOW!